It is tough keeping up with two blogs. But, I really want a place where I can let the recovery side of me hang out a little more. Somethings I need to say just don't seem to belong on a homeschool/family blog.
Honestly though, I have not been very good with keeping up with much these last two weeks. I have buried myself in a house obsession - preparing our house to sell and house-hunting for our future home. I have kept physically busy - which was good. Until my disease crossed over into obsession land - and suddenly everything had to be done - Right Now. And I skipped a meeting because I had to go to the home improvement store at that time, and then I skipped another meeting because I had to finish painting that room. Two, three days would vanish before I realized I had not called another alcoholic, much less my sponsor. So-my blog - really has been the last thing on my list.
So our house is going on the market in a couple of weeks. And I am just praying that I make it through this with some sanity remaining afterwards. Today - I got the message and I am going to try to slow it down. Tone down my perfectionism and impatience with how long it takes to accomplish anything and really just try to let things be okay.
I am so very grateful for the life I have today. And I am grateful that I was able to find my way back to the program. I wrote a long post on my other blog today about brokenness and my life 13 years ago. January 1993 was what I consider the beginning of my "Year of Broken-ness" the beginning of my journey to my bottom. This time of year I think about it and I think about who I was. And, almost simultaneously I have two very distinctive thoughts. The first is guilt and shame - and each year this grows dimmer and dimmer. The second is joyful gratitude that I was given the chance to have AA in my life - that I was given the gift of life. An this attitude grws stronger each year.
In a couple of weeks is my old AA birthday the one I had for 9 years. It is already tough when I see that date on a calendar. And I am doing some pretty good banging on myself - because I would have had 12 yrs - but I didn't work the program, I stopped going and I stopped growing and I did what came naturally to myself as a drunk. And it is all EGO anyway.
I have today - and today I got up and went to a morning step meeting. I took it easy around the house and I took a long, hot bath. And I just spent a lot of time offering up myself to my higher power. And - you know what? I feel so much better than I felt when I woke up this morning.
I am grateful for Today!
Peace,
Amy
Honestly though, I have not been very good with keeping up with much these last two weeks. I have buried myself in a house obsession - preparing our house to sell and house-hunting for our future home. I have kept physically busy - which was good. Until my disease crossed over into obsession land - and suddenly everything had to be done - Right Now. And I skipped a meeting because I had to go to the home improvement store at that time, and then I skipped another meeting because I had to finish painting that room. Two, three days would vanish before I realized I had not called another alcoholic, much less my sponsor. So-my blog - really has been the last thing on my list.
So our house is going on the market in a couple of weeks. And I am just praying that I make it through this with some sanity remaining afterwards. Today - I got the message and I am going to try to slow it down. Tone down my perfectionism and impatience with how long it takes to accomplish anything and really just try to let things be okay.
I am so very grateful for the life I have today. And I am grateful that I was able to find my way back to the program. I wrote a long post on my other blog today about brokenness and my life 13 years ago. January 1993 was what I consider the beginning of my "Year of Broken-ness" the beginning of my journey to my bottom. This time of year I think about it and I think about who I was. And, almost simultaneously I have two very distinctive thoughts. The first is guilt and shame - and each year this grows dimmer and dimmer. The second is joyful gratitude that I was given the chance to have AA in my life - that I was given the gift of life. An this attitude grws stronger each year.
In a couple of weeks is my old AA birthday the one I had for 9 years. It is already tough when I see that date on a calendar. And I am doing some pretty good banging on myself - because I would have had 12 yrs - but I didn't work the program, I stopped going and I stopped growing and I did what came naturally to myself as a drunk. And it is all EGO anyway.
I have today - and today I got up and went to a morning step meeting. I took it easy around the house and I took a long, hot bath. And I just spent a lot of time offering up myself to my higher power. And - you know what? I feel so much better than I felt when I woke up this morning.
I am grateful for Today!
Peace,
Amy
posted by Amy at
11:09 PM
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